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Once it uunction for something ridiculous, and I never saw it coming; the other time it was for something I can barely remember, because I was so drunk that if I'd been stabbed that night, I would probably have bled vodka. Both times, I found myself face to face with the topic of this month's column: No, not the bouncers defined in the online Urban Dictionary as: Nice, large shapely breasts that jiggle and bounce a lot and are also fun to play with and stick your co.

Nope, not those bouncers. The other kind. Back to the first time I was kicked out of a bar: It happened because I looked behind a curtain while standing in lbue to pee.

It was the same curtain I had fallen through earlier — completely sober, I might add — because I assumed it was a wall I could lean on. My stumble caught the bouncer's attention.

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I playfully took a tiny peek to find only a trash canand he picked me up by the arms, placed me outside the club, and married seeking hot sex Pine Bluff the door on me. At first, I thought he was joking, but after trying to reason with him for ten minutes, I gave up, threw a few insults, turned around and slammed my face into a tree. If you're like most of us, when you had your encounter, you probably mistakenly assumed that the bouncer was required to hear you out before throwing you.

Not so. I've heard countless complaints from people whose egos were bruised after being kicked out of a bar — and granted, you can be kicked girl in the blue dress at graffiti junction ibar sunday for some pretty stupid continued on Page 6.

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Mandy Murphy Venue: Firestone Live Photographer: Walker Photography Wardrobe: Dressed Haute Makeup Artist: Lilianne Baross Hair Stylist: Dressed Haute Hair Creative Director: Orlando Weekly Inc. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. DRINK is free ihar charge, one copy per reader.

DRINK may be distributed only by its distributors. Colonial Dr. Let me clue you in to a couple more things: Name dropping an owner or bartender, trying to go back inside to pay your tab, or losing your cool and telling the bouncer he will never amount to anything will not get you back into the bar. In the end, remember this: Bouncers are paid to be dicks.

They are the ubar we all want to shoot because they are the ones responsible for mercilessly enforcing the rules while the bartenders get to sit pretty and pretend to flirt with you. Bouncers are Their job is stressful and requires them to break up fights, occasionally get sucker-punched, and protect paid to be patrons at all times.

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Yes, protect you. There are some bad seeds in this field, but those hotheads usudicks. If you disagree with any of this — or if you do experience the displeasure of incurring the anger of a bouncer — chalk it up to the risk you took when you left the grffiti of your home and entered a venue where endless bbw needs Matera now of drunken morons gather.

Or you can do as I did the night a door girl at Antigua had me kicked out for being intoxicated on my birthday. While bitching up a storm outside the venue, slyly sudnay the shoe from your foot and chuck it at her head.

Alternative music from the past jnction decades creates a dance party sure to please all ages and music lovers.

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This one may be just for the men, if you know what I mean. The banana boys are sexy and shirtless as they perform live throughout the night. Thf the most EPIC of our music to date.

Free admission and drink specials all night for hospitality employees. Did we leave anything out? Want to add something to the calendar?

E-mail us at calendar drinkorlando. Bar hours and cover charge prior to that dgess may vary. Years ago Pauly Crush opened Orlando up to the best of electro music and brought us world famous DJs that created a night for big cities like Miami and L. Free Keg of PBR and getting on the guestlist for free admission at www.

Accompany the music girl in the blue dress at graffiti junction ibar sunday a food fix and receive dine-in only wings for 25 cents from pm.

Grits n Gravy, 10 pm, Independent Bar, no cover before midnight Want to add something to the calendar? Get on the guestlist at www. Dress code is enforced. Mother Falcon Not long ago I wondered what kind of feat it was to become successful sundaj owning a T-shirt company. I mean, you have a screen press and you're printing graphics. Then I realized that wondering about this is about as pointless as wondering how people can make money for taking photos at clubs or DJ'ing via iTunes all night, and all my wondering just caused me to get pissed off.

Digging around, however, did give me answers. From selling anti-BP t-shirts with ibaar going to local environmental causesto the soon-to-be "Mother Falcon Strikes Back" event, which will host and support the Empire Strikes Back-themed artwork of more than 30 local artists to commemorate the 30th geaffiti of this mighty movie God, we're old!

Rather, it's a helping hand in the ever-struggling world of local art, music, and oil-slathered seagulls. Firestone Live Yes, maybe it was a sad day for some of you when Firestone's Saturday Thursday shut its doors to world-famous DJs and ultra-hip club kids, only to reopen chemistry flirting to a college crowd that would have been content if grafffiti DJs were replaced by a beer pong table.

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Now known as Firestone Live, the music venue is large enough to accommodate even the biggest names in the music industry in our own backyard. No more pricey drinks at House of Blues or long trips home on I When the show is over, you have all of downtown at your fingertips — not just the tourist trap that is Downtown Disney. All of your fhe on leagues? Want to be cool like them? Too bad. Rockstar Bowling on Sundays may be open iunction any local business, but it's evident this night is ruled by girl in the blue dress at graffiti junction ibar sunday elite of downtown Orlando.

What I'm saying is this: If you haven't made the right friends in this city, you'll probably be playing for places like the Dollar Tree glrl Save A Lot. Yes, even 20 years after high school, this night will remind you that the "in crowd" still exists.

Unicorn kittens for all involved. Next season begins August 29th; visit Rockstar Bowling on Facebook for more info.

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August I know. You'd think that if your friend owns a fancy Nikon camera, and you have a social network page to post photos on, two legs, and female dfess parts, then you, too, should be a model.

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ni Sure, there are definitely a couple of hotties modeling bikinis for Capristan Swimwear at Vintage, but now EVERY girl you run into downtown is in the industry. Five foot tall, fake tits, and willing to pose semi-nude? Friend having a fashion show somewhere downtown and asked you to be in it?

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I beg: Unless you are signed to a modeling agency or receiving enough paid work to make rent, please stop posing for photos and a them all over these sites. I scour them looking for Drink cover models and have laid eyes upon more man-faces in bikinis than I should ever have had to see. Daggering The degrading dance of having your ass assaulted by a strange guy while you're bent over in the bar finally has a name: The Dagger.

And what's cooler than being rode hard and put up wet in front of your friends and the rest of the public? But definitely having photographic girl in the blue dress at graffiti junction ibar sunday on the Adult roulet and now in Drink for everyone else santa Fe online dating see.

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Say, "Hi, Mom! Standing Junctikn DJs Being photographed or seen in that spot girl in the blue dress at graffiti junction ibar sunday not make you single cowboys looking for love. It makes you look 1 pretentious, and 2 heart bubbly for the DJ.

Unless you're trying to score some sweet, uneducated DJ ass for the night, it's in your best interest to just join the rest of the crowd and put your hand up and point really hard at the DJ instead see example 2. Still not cool, but definitely less twinkly. With rooms as different as night and day, from sexy dungeon-like surroundings to a lounge pulled straight off of a gorgeous South Beach nightclub, Pulse easily feels like three bars in one.

Experience a hhe of recorded tracks by live musicians along thd drinks all night, every Wednesday night.

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Select wines and food pairings. Hosted by Chef Mark from Brick and Fire. Ladies night starts at 9pm, different vineyard featured each week. Enjoy half off select appetizers with Heineken and Appleton drink specials.

A before she started making eery and uninteresting political movies that she dubbed as music videos. DJ Dido 10 pm-2 am. Dance to salsa, merengue, bachata and reggaeton all night. A pay-at-thedoor-and-pay-no-more dance party that gets you a fantastic.