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You pick a treadmill at the gym that overlooks the local college boys' basketball team.

Now that you are in your late 20s, they're seem young and fresh and sweaty, and I'll stop. You almost sniff the back of a guy's neck on the train.

The subway is a sardine can crammed with ebing professional Youngs and you inevitably wind up facing the back of a guy who looks hot from the.

You slow down gay cam broadcast "cruise" when a guys' cross country team runs past your car. Ideally, "Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas would be playing. You are the person who initiates thigh-touching on a date. Ahahaha, you're soooo funny. What does being horney feel like for a girl have no qualms making out in the street.

When you are taking someone home, it does not even occur to you that your place is too messy for sexytimes. Is there a sex-having space on the floor between the pizza, dirty underwear, and Zebra Cake wrappers?

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You walk around with condom s in your purse. Ya never know! You can just trip and fall onto a penis. Talking to guys in bars suddenly doesn't seem like the worst decision. That guy over there in the dress shirt eyeing us creepily looks kinda cute! That guy liie the ZZ Top beard looks kinda cute! That tree stump outside looks kinda cute!

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You're touching everyone a little too. Morning, Ben! How's doing the expense budget going? Thank god it's Friday, right? Hahaha, please let me lick your neck. Bbeing claim you're tired and cancel dinner plans in lieu of "watching a movie" with.

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Or. Because "watching a movie" has been code for sex since high school. Some things do not change. And you spent every moment of the epic two-hour block of beautifying time thinking about how awesome doing it is gonna be.

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At a bar, you do a tequila shot and tell everyone it makes you "soooo horny" so you have an excuse for your normal non-tequila-induced horey level. You text back the number that occasionally texts you at You start sexting that number without asking who it is.

Because it's the Hot Stranger Game. You find yourself Google Image-searching hot actors.

And making them your screen savers. And you grunt or something when you stumble upon a particularly great picture of one.

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And having frequent sex dreams. Probably featuring said actors.

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You immediately scroll down to "Personal Life" on the Wikipedia page of every actor you think is hot to see if he is married. You find yourself Googling "[Actor's name] girlfriend. You take the batteries out of your Swiffer Wet Jet and put them in your vibrator. You stare at bulges.

It's just really easy sometimes because you are sitting at crotch level and a man is standing. You make eyes at literally every man on public transit even though they are all gross. You do a search for the word "kiss" in the YA fewl you're reading on your Kindle.

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You stare at mouths. You stare into space. Photo Credit: Fox Anna Breslaw Writer. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below.

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